I lived in this small town that was very pretentious.  On the surface it looked the very picturesque meaning of quaint.  An outsider standing in the middle of the downtown area could easily believe that this was a place that could feel like home.  Every one was part of your extended family.  A place of peace and acceptance.  A place that made you feel like you had a big fluffy blanket wrapped around while you were sipping hot cocoa on a cold stormy late Autumn evening.  Of course that was what they wanted outsiders to think.  It was a tourist trap.  But as soon as the tourists went home from their little mini vacation a completely different atmosphere appeared.  And the true town’s personality emerged.  The people were not so well adjusted, nor excepting.  I always saw the town as a form of Broadway stage during tourist season.  When the lights went down and everybody went home – the makeup and costumes came off.

Then late at night the circus freaks emerged. Mostly during their beloved Halloween season.  October was their time to show their true form and come out and play.  The city officials and those who ran the town hated them.  Hated their existence.  They thought it was a blight on their perfect little town.  This little group of circus freaks were twistedly talented volunteers of the local haunted school house.  And I was one of them.  A proud member in fact.  I cherished my part in smearing the towns perfect little exterior.  All of us at the haunted house did, I think.  The town wanted to hide it’s imperfections.  Shoving them in the basements under lock and key.  October was the only time we could escape and show our deformed faces and non compliant revolutions.  It was mostly innocent of course.  We never really did any visual damage.  We were hooligans but we were not criminals.  This was my first true realization of home.  My first place of refuge.  Empowering, we were all royalty there.  Not the vagabonds the town branded us as.  Plus there still is nothing like scaring the pants off a guy twice my size.

I then lost it.  You can’t stay in one place forever though.  You must move forward on your path wherever it may take you.

I didn’t find another home until a few years later.  And oddly enough it took its form as a MMORPG.  It’s insane but in a lot of ways it filled the gap in my life that the haunted house made when I departed from it.  Once again I was able to be a more projected version of the things I wanted to be and liked in myself.  I put on the skin of a Twi’lek and played my grandest role yet.  That of a little blue Tyrenanian Twi named Xie ‘lanthia.  In actuality I found it terribly easier to be comfortable with being me under the guise of lighthearted silliness of a cantina than those of your everyday “real life” scenarios.  With SWG I found true social happiness.

The truth be, I am a bit of a social reject.  A self proclaimed hermit.  Even my husband scorns my antisocial tendencies at times.  He has dubbed me socially challenged and he is most definitely correct in his view of me.  In some ways it is something that is beyond my control but mostly I find contentment and even a bit of honor at being a mob of one.  It fits me.  I do love socializing with people once you get through the BS but unfortunately I found that a large majority of people are entirely made up of BS.  I actually should rephrase that.  I hate people.  I love persons.  The easiest way to get rid of me is to play at one of the mindless drones.  It does it every time.

By now as you can guess, SWG is gone for me also.  The truth being the game changed way to much and that caused a different type of people to become attracted to the game.  Sadly, it also chased away the type of “persons” that helped make me fall in love with SWG, so eventually I left also.  WoW, EQII, and all the other MMOs fall tragically short of the splendid social sandbox that was once SWG.  So, in a moment of weakness I very seriously think about renewing my subscription to SWG, even though I know full and well that the fix I am longing for I will never get again there.

I wrote this a little over three years ago. This was inspired by one of my favorite SWG toons, Xhyanne ‘lanthia, and it is written in her point of view. At the time she was a very hot headed, stubborn little BH. Eager to take her place among the elite BH’s in the Intrepid galaxy, as well as prove her worth in her mother’s eyes. I hope you enjoy. :)

After coming back from a long hunt I decided to step into the local cantina to rest my weary bones for a few moments. I slowly walk to the back of the cantina and take a seat in one of those private alcoves. As I listen to the band play I relax and close my eyes letting my battle fatigue melt away. I quickly notice a musician playing the same few notes over and over again. Like a broken record..no flourishing…no nothing.

I get up figuring it was a new musician just starting out. Maybe I could help steer the guy in the right direction. My mom was, after all, in the famous band “The Def Stars”. As I walk up to him I realize that I was wrong. He was not a novice…he was a master! He was AFK and not even macrotaining. To my utter astonishment I realize I recognize this guy – it was someone the founders of DEF were considering for membership.

I stare in total and complete shock at his face. The world around me comesinto sharp focus. All I see is his cold blank stare with a deafening “Whooornal!……Whooornal!” from his playing Starwars1 on the chi horn. The sound itself was driving me insane. It was like nails on the chalkboard. Then when I think I can’t take it anymore…..

SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grab him by the scruff of his neck and drag him out of the cantina. I throw him face first into a nice big pile of torton poodoo. He so conveniently becomes ATK at the best possible moment! Yeah you guessed it, when his face was buried in that huge mound of juicy…Ok I am getting a little carried away…

“What the hell is wrong with you ?!?” he screams.

“Did you really think you would get away with it ?” I said calmly.

“Away with what?! WTF?!” he yells.

I stare at him silently

“….I was only AFK for a moment!” he argued as he flailed, “if that!!”

I slowly and methodically pull out my LLC and point it at him. Fear was etched on his face. “So… do you want to do this the easy way,” I said evilly, “…or the hard…” A look of terror comes over his face. He turns from me and bolts. “…I was hoping you’d say that.” I said in a dark voice.

He was running for his life, but little did he know it was pointless. I already had him. For a moment there was no sound. Then….BOOM!!!…CRACKLE!!!…the first shot goes off. His whole body freezes for a split second and then he falls to the ground with a thud groaning all the way. I casually walk toward him. He scrambles to his feet slipping several times. He was trying over and over again to runaway, but he is slower this time.

Still walking towards……silence….BOOM!!!…Crackle!!..shot two goes off. His body jerks and convulses a little but he is able to stay on his feet this time. He slowly turns to face face with a pleading look on his disgusting face.

But it’s too late. BOOM!!!…..CRACKLE!!….hiss…..