So many precious moments in my past. Friends have come and gone over the years but there is a few where moments burn brightly because of the intense pain and happiness that surrounds them. I covet them close to my heart. At least I will always have my memories.
I never was one for a mass display of intoxicated gluttony. It is true though that I have been involved in my fair share of them. One of them was a SciFi-Fantasy convention my friends affectionately dubbed the annual drunkin’ orgy fest. I took part in the drunkin’ portion of the fest for four years in a row. Two of those pivoting moments, where joy and pain became one happened here. This is the reason they are so beautifully precious to me.
The fucking worst thing about remembering these moments is that in part because of them, I realize that I have shut out, closed down any possibility for any future memories to be made and cherished. I have built up a wall around me preventing anyone from touching me, connecting with me. This is my own personal purgatory and I lay in the bed that I have made.



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